Memorial from Deborah
by Deborah D Keele
The sad day has come and I am not with you. We've all fought a long hard battle and you now feel the loss and the defeat of not winning all that we hoped for.
I want to tell you today, that I am not lost and I did not lose. I want to tell you a story of Faith, Love and Triumph.
In the spring of 2000, April 3rd to be exact, an angel came to me and kissed me on the cheek. I sat in my prayer circle in my yard, recovering from a mastectomy and still very ill from a dose of chemo. I was wondering how I let myself be talked into that dose. My question and prayer was what do I do? I felt so full of poison and so ill, and so torn over this diagnosis of breast cancer. There was panic and fear all around me. Everyone had a different idea of what treatment I should do.
So, I prayed for peace and calm, and an answer.
There she was, larger than life, this angel kissing a tear from my cheek, then she was gone. The next morning all the white tulips in my prayer circle bloomed over night, for me. I had my answers. I would be OK, no matter what. I needed to stick to my principles. One was I would not do chemo, poison does not give quality to life. The second principle was dignity and grace in the face of hardship. My answer was, I would not win this battle with cancer, I knew with her kiss that she was waiting for me. My time was short and I would be going home. The surprising thing was I felt no fear, just peace and the strength to do what I must. Fight as long as I could, then give in gracefully and with love say good-bye.
I wish to tell you of love and a life well lived.
I was so blessed in my life and that is what I want you to remember.
I raised three beautiful sons. Sons that I was so proud of and that I found joy in watching them become the men they are.
I lost a daughter, and then I was given two. Eden and Rene' filled my heart with love and everything mothers and daughters know.
When I thought I'd lost love, I was given Michael. This love of my life filled my days with peace and happiness. He gave me safety in his arms, and wings to fly with. In his loving care I truly became me.
He brought to me Parents, after I'd spent so many years without my own, Verda and Ray took me into their hearts and loved me as one of their's. He opened his life and heart to three boys that needed him and two daughters. We all found family.
We were blessed with another blue eyed baby boy to love. Nicholas, our first grandson came to stay, and in our dark days he brought us delight and joy.
I've been blessed with the love of life-long friendship with five beautiful women. Pam, Ness, Kathy, Lynn, and Leanne. Their love and support gave me the courage to find my dreams and face life's ups and downs.
I was blessed with many friendships over the years, A nursing career that I loved. A spiritual path, and faith I found. My community. I got to teach, write, do the many hobbies I liked, dance, and I got to enjoy so many talented people around me.
I've been loved and I loved in return and to me that is what life is made of.
I say to you, don't grieve for me too long, I've just gone home, and I am with you still.
I'm the smile that you will remember soon. Im the love in your hearts, I'm in your memories. I'm the wind, the trees, the spring time flowers, the Earth that I loved so much, and, I'll be waiting with open arms when it is your turn to journey home. I love you all.